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Lucy (AKA Lucifer)

Part time Toaster Enthusiast --
Full Time Tv Addiction
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retrogradeworks:

This is how fucking stupid you sound when you say, ‘No homo.’

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blockeurs:

the more notes this gets the closer we are to killing anime forever

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dietcondoms:

what if everytime u got nervous you yodelled

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suctioning:

postllimit:

does your stomach ever make noises that sound like the mario theme

image

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copyright2014:

i love being a TEEN. sleeping til noon, spraypainting the principals car, smoking drugs, contemporary art

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  • (I work the floor at an independently-owned menswear store. The owner, my boss, spends a lot of time at the shop, and tries to keep prices as low as possible to help our city’s large homeless population get good job interview clothes. A clearly homeless man is wandering around the store. The other patrons are giving him looks.)
  • Customer: “Excuse me, sir?”
  • Me: “Yes, ma’am?”
  • Customer: “I think you may want to call security. That… bum over there, he keeps feeling the suits and muttering to himself. I’m just sure he’s planning to steal one.”
  • Me: “Well, ma’am, I think that’s quite unlikely.”
  • Customer: “Oh, come on, you know how they are! I mean, I’d keep an eye on him even if he wasn’t homeless!”
  • (The homeless man in question happens to be Hispanic.)
  • Me: “We don’t discriminate here, ma’am.”
  • Customer: “Well, I’m sure the owner would want to hear about this!”
  • (I give in and call him over. The customer explains her concerns. As a black man, my boss isn’t happy with her racism, but agrees to talk to the homeless man.)
  • Owner: “Excuse me, sir, are you finding what you need?”
  • Homeless Man: “Well, not really. I’m hoping for something versatile in a dark or navy wool, but most of the options in my size are cut American style instead of European, which fits me a little better. Not to mention they’re all pinstriped, which I really don’t have the build for, you know?”
  • Owner: “I… yes, I understand. I think we may have some options over here, if you’ll follow me. How did you know all that?”
  • Homeless Man: “Back before I lost my job, I used to be really into this stuff. I’m not looking for anything fancy, just something I can use to look good for a job interview later today.”
  • (My boss helps him find something he likes, and comes to the counter with him. The suit is priced at $87.)
  • Homeless Man: *digging in his pockets* “Hang on, I think I’ve got enough.”
  • Owner: *to me* “Take my card. I’m buying it for him.” *to the homeless man* “Here. The suit’s yours, on one condition. After your interview today, you come back and apply for a job here too. Got it?”
  • Homeless Man: “I… oh my God, thank you. Thank you so much.”
  • (Two years later, that formerly-homeless man is my manager, and has a little girl with his new wife—the owner’s sister.)
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police-box-in-purgatory:

ashameless:

tennants-hair:

asgard’s next top model

Look how happy Fandral looks, like he’s totally aware how fabulous they look. 

He probably coordinated this whole scene.

"Sif you and I will be in the middle, cause we’re the most fabulous."

"Do that thing that makes your ponytail swing."

"Come on guys, it’ll feel goofy but it’s gonna look so fuckin’ good."

they’re all about to trip over a bench

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rebuy:

i hope flip phones make a comeback in 2015 

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it-s-a-metaphor-for-destiel:

perchu:

themininepeta:

dont let the guy who hates moreos see this

i love big cock

well that was unexpected 

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rainbow-femme:

I’m sick of magical worlds with no technology. I want fairy run coffee shops where you can get a latte with a shot of charisma, because you’ve got a big presentation you’re worried about, or witches working at Apple selling phones that automatically appear in your pocket if you accidentally leave it somewhere, or psychics running hair salons who always know how you want your hair to look, or aura reader therapists. I just really want normalized magic in modern society

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lubricates:

Whenever you’re taking exams and the examiner comes and stands next to your table.

image

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wehaveourdragons:

castiali:

my favorite thing is when someone’s in the shower and you suddenly hear a distant BANG BANG BANG CRASH and you can tell they just knocked over like all of the shampoo bottles

 #my favourite is when you hear a deep heavy sigh afterwards #or a string of curse words

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bootycaller:

who wants to give up on society and go live in a treehouse with me

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